when is a person truly living? in life many people work hard and go for the things that are certain & veer away from the uncertainties of the world. in class today we were talking about careers, doing what makes you happy & answering the age long question, 'what should i do with my life?'. i have come across this question many times in the past few months. i've been struggling with trying to figure out what my heart wants me to do & doing the 'right' career path.
if money was no issue i would be a school counselor & help kids figure out what they wanted to do & point them in the right directions. because often times i feel like i should have had that in my middle to high school years. i would want to open up a dance studio & feed those who are hungry for dance. i would join the peace core and actually make an impact on the world by helping those who are less fortunate. i would become an active environmentalist & help people realize that the earth is our home & we need to preserve it.
so why do i feel as if i can't really pursue these aspirations? why is it that when i have it set in my mind that i know i would be able to do these things, a part of my conscience holds me back? why. i guess growing up i was never encouraged to reach for these kinds of things. so a piece of me doesn't want to turn away from what my parents & family instilled in me & not go into nursing. don't get me wrong nursing is a great field & i'm still doing a service to people but i can't help but get the feeling of, 'i dont think this is for me'.
i think the main thing is the uncertainties that go into these dreams is what has me scared. its like what my professor said in class, people like things that are certain. its like a person in the parking lot at night trying to find their car keys under a street light & won't go outside of it cause they're afraid of the dark.
am i afraid of the dark? do i not want to go outside of the little bubble of a world that i have created for myself & my future? i just hope that the whispers of my unconscious feelings of what i should do with my life finally get to me. i just hope i answer them sooner than later.
1 comment:
Daffi, it's Jane! I truly enjoyed reading your blog. I feel like I'm standing the same direction as you are. My true passions is playing instruments (I was in band & drumline for 4 years of high school.. yes band dork.) and if I could, I would just have free concerts to give people hope with music.. shoot, i would even do it on the street! but I'm going to school for hospitality management. and as graduation is rapidly approaching, im scared. im scared of the unknown. but what can we do? just look forward to it, and hope that we can light up the darkness, right? :)
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