Tuesday, December 08, 2009


i have converted.

well not really, but i have started one. i just need a quicker way to blog. i'm so disappointed that i haven't been able to get on blogger but the only way i could post anything was on a computer. which i rarely would get on. so have resorted to using my phone for everything! & since i'm a blackberry user now i can get apps for various things. so i looked into tumblr & saw THERE WAS A BLACKBERRY APP! so now i can conveniently blog thru tumblr on my blackberry. the format of tumblr is kind of a mess which i still prefer my blogspot but till i find an app for blogger, i'll just have to go tumblr for now. -_-

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

notice me

i haven't blogged in AGES. i need to keep up on this thang. i've been so out of it... so much going on in my life. & trust there is so much to be said and updated on. but i am too lazy to do all of that right now. but i do want to say that full out was fun. <3 those people make the trip worth while.

but on another note... at full out jr aquino & andrew garcia performed.. they are dope! & i had the chance to hear 'notice me' live with a plethera of talented singers. =] i am in love with his voice. & this song is REALLY good. <3

so with that said... enjoy.

Friday, October 09, 2009

a messssss

lexi's party
- still need chairs
- still need to get food
- still need candles
- still need to decorate
- still need to get a set for hifi [ i might have to back down ]

- block 2 more pieces
- finalize mix
- make & finish ALL transitions
- buy pants, shoes & shirt

- study for accounting quiz
- study for small business management lecture test
- read 2 chapters for accounting
- read for business 101
- work on 3rd test for mgt103
- contact guest speakers

full out
- choreography for full out opener
- figure out ride situations
- rent cars
- figure out accommodations

** where am i going to find the time for all of this? i don't even know if i'll have enough money. they say don't build the bridge until you get to the river & sometimes the river might turn out to be a creek or the damn Mississippi. at this point, i can't tell what my river is but by the looks of things it might be the nile. okay, maybe thats far fetched but i feel like a complete & total mess. i've tried to get my life together but its hard for me to full get focused. there's a lot on my plate & i don't think that my belly is big enough.

something has definitely got to give. i'm really thinking about reducing my hours at work lets hope i get through. please lord help through this month & especially the next week. i have complete & total faith that you well help cross this river. pray for me. -_-

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


its been a while since i've been on this thing. i'm disgusted on how i continue to neglect reflecting on my thoughts. its something i need to do but every time i sit and blog... nothing comes to mind. as i'm in the process to make my thoughts concrete it just doesn't come out! what is wrong with me?!

there is so much on my mind, so much weighing down my heart & so much troubling my soul. well.. maybe not so much but i've been so in and out of it. so since i can't put my thoughts into a nice neat little post i'm going to start rambling....

time. i know there's plenty in a day but why is it that i feel that i don't have enough. what am i doing in my days that eat so much of my time? work, school, hifi, groove... i think its because my life isn't organized that i can't take things one at a time. i've trying to keep up with my planner and compiling 'to do' lists but i lack the motivation to stay on track. i feel like my life is a mess.

unfit. i'm sluggish and just a year ago i was on track to getting skinny. i'm not satisfied with my body and i can't help but whine about it. when i try to get on top of getting back into the gym i never go. i gotta start eating healthier and i need to run or gym it in the morning before my day starts. because as i noticed i simply can't go at night.

school. i am absolutely loving it. i actually enjoy what i'm doing in school. this story is for another day. just simply put... i'm loving the switch.

there's so much more... but again... it just can't come out. well maybe for another post.


Monday, September 14, 2009

to the peoples that rise to the sun

shut up. or speak if you must. just leave my nombre outchore mouthchos. now go get a dictionary cause i know these few sentences will trouble your bean sized minds.

- sunset

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

shallow & empty

i'm tired of shallow connections & empty relationships.

i want depth. i want to be interested. i want spontaneity. i crave genuine. i need intimacy. i yearn for conversation. i want passion. i crave what is real...

why do i intentionally sell my self short? what i THINK i want, does not suffice. why? i have done the shallow & empty for far too long. i deserve a deeper connection. a connection that keeps me stimulated, exhilarated, wondering. i'm entitled to a relationship full of communication, understand, respect, equality & trust.

i deserve what i expect.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

roller babies

if anyone knows me, they know that i LOOOOOVE kids but babies (ages 0-4yrs lol) the MOST! haha seriously when kids come into my work i can't help myself! i came across this video on youtube & wtf! lol i cannot contain myself this is too cute for my life!

daffi love the kids!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

never fall in love with a man who don't love you

we have all done our fair share of hating on another female because they might be involved with a guy we've had history with. we are all guilty & i know i am. honestly, there comes a point in your life where that becomes elementary. most of all, its SO unnecessary when there's nothing to be mad about. if there was a mild history but no feelings exchanged why must there be a problem?

it's like in my best friend's wedding... julz chasing after michael when he was chasing after kim & julz' gay friend made her realize that no one was chasing her. that's the point where you should just claim your loses. there has to be something not right in someone's head when they keep trying profusely to make something out of something that's so blatantly nothing.

like jem said... this is not a movie. he WON'T say i love you back just because you say it to him.
& mokenstef expresses it best in her very fitting jam:
"let me tell you something that just ain't cool... never fall in love with a man who don't love you."

quit being so butthurt.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

love & life

Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.

Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man you love but with the man who loves you more.

The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but never too far to feel the love within your being.

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.

We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.

Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself.

Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean you failed in love.

Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

There are two ways to live your life:

* One is as though nothing is a miracle.
* The other is as though everything is a miracle.

There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive. no past so bitter that love cannot accept.

And no love so little that we cannot start all over with.

- einstein

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

its not....

it's not that i have commitment issues...
i just appreciate the options.

it's not that i'm against relationships...
i just haven't come across someone who has made the effort to change my outlook.

it's not that there's something wrong with me that i don't have a boyfriend...
i just know what i want.

it's a little bit & i mean just A LITTLE BIT demeaning when i'm asked "so why don't you have a boyfriend?" in a manner that implies that there's something wrong with me. you might as well ask me, "so what's your dysfunction, that you drive all the boys away?" lol! yesss, i have been without someone for quite some time now... actually a REALLY long time. but i don't see it as something wrong, i've just focused on the relationship with myself all this time. don't get it wrong there have been a few guys along the way but honestly... i just want to live my life. considering the type of person i am & the lifestyle i live, it isn't exactly all easy peasy to find someone who can handle me. lol i kid, i kid.

i know what i want. out of a significant other. out of a relationship. out of a companionship. i've seen many people settle. & i refuse... that's all. =]

Friday, August 07, 2009

A cool summer night, makes room for a cool summer day. This is never the case in vegas summers. I can't complain because I'm lovin it.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009


"All people dream; but not equally. those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they may act their dreams with open eyes to make it possible." -- T.E. Lawrence

Sunday, August 02, 2009

*groove w. emmett

i haven't blogged in a while but i couldn't go to bed without sharing thoughts on tonight's *groove class with emmett agapay....

studio was opened on time, i handled front desk we had about 25 people come take which is always a good thing to see, & emmett was simply amazing. i was steady working... & i mean WORKING... in class tonight. seriously, i feel bad for those who didn't come out because i truly feel like this was a class that people shouldn't have missed out on. i haven't worked so hard, sweated so much, vibed so amazingly, felt so much energy & had so much fun in a class in sooooooooo long! actually, i haven't felt that type energy at groove EVER! to be perfectly honest.

he taught so effectively, he really worked it out with the students... he really knows what he is doing. as i looked around in class i didn't see 1 person who didn't get the choreo. granted there were the different levels of dancer but there was no one lost or anything. the piece was so much fun, he taught with great insight, good knowledge & constructive critiques. man, i wanna be like that for real. although i suck at choreo... i want to be able to teach like him. i really need to start bringing in more instructors like emmett into groove. keep *groove on it!

i don't know... but whatever that was at groove tonight, i DEFINITELY need more of it. the vibe & energy was amazing. its days like this that remind me why i do this dance thing.

very, refreshing.


group 1 (black sweats & stripped green tank) =]

emmett & company

Friday, July 24, 2009


one thing i love with learning is that when something strikes me, it stays with me. i simply can't get enough of my past psychology class. i actually learned something that i can use & apply to my life. sometimes when teachers give you something that they believe would better who you are or benefit your life, it seems all too artificial. not with this professor, he kept it real & he made class fun. with this class there was so much i took away from it & i can't help but bring up certain things that were taught in his lectures....

one of my faves was his lecture of LOVE.
it wasn't your mushy gushy gag type of love topic but a lecture on what a love relationship is. we all have our own perception on what love is, but he said that all love was the same. each couple experiences love differently but the foundation of what a love relationship is same.

he made us write down 5 things we wanted in a relationship. people wrote down the usual... communication, trust, an adventurous significant other, spontaneity etc. whatever you could thing of it was written down. but after he broke down the CURET MODEL it made everything else seem so elementary.


ommunication, Understanding, Respect, Equity, Trust.
if a love relationship does not have this then its not a love relationship.

communication - something we do so seldom but needs to be done. we as human beings are not mind readers. so we need to communicate to one another our needs & wants.

understanding - we need to learn to understand each person's needs and wants. what's communication without understanding, right?

Respect - plain & simple... there needs to be a level of respect for one another. if you respect the other person you won't go & cheat or do crazy shinanagins.

Equity - you are simply 1/2 of a relationship. it takes two baby lol. it takes two EQUAL halves in order to make 1 relationship work. duh? but as simple as that may seem many couples see themselves as better than the other.

Trust - & this one is a given.

but the thing is, its a continuum. so you can't trust someone 100% because if you do than that makes the other person perfect & no human is perfect. life is not a dichotomy & its the same with this. the continuum has to be pretty mutual on both sides.

in class there were the obvious objections on this model. some said they need to have spontaneity. others said they wanted appreciation. but with everything that people brought up our professor said, there can only be 5, so what would you take down from the model in order to place their suggestion. & honestly you can't take one down. everything else comes along with the different couple's needs but CURET is the base of what their relationship must build on. & most things just fall under one or the other categories.

he said its like thread from a sweater.... if you take one out the whole sweater comes undone. what a great analogy. & i've seen this logic put to the test numerous times & it proves to be so right.

& this isn't just simply for a significant other but can apply to your love relationship with your parents, friends etc. i see this lacking with my relationship with my parents & also with their relationship.

hmm... its so touchy, but definitely something to think about. if it was this simply why do some people have a hard time getting it & applying it? is it because they're daunted with the fact that maybe a love relationship requires work? makes me wonder....

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

tap : challenge

man i need to see this movie again.