one thing i love with learning is that when something strikes me, it stays with me. i simply can't get enough of my past psychology class. i actually learned something that i can use & apply to my life. sometimes when teachers give you something that they believe would better who you are or benefit your life, it seems all too artificial. not with this professor, he kept it real & he made class fun. with this class there was so much i took away from it & i can't help but bring up certain things that were taught in his lectures....
one of my faves was his lecture of LOVE.
it wasn't your mushy gushy gag type of love topic but a lecture on what a love relationship is. we all have our own perception on what love is, but he said that all love was the same. each couple experiences love differently but the foundation of what a love relationship is same.
he made us write down 5 things we wanted in a relationship. people wrote down the usual... communication, trust, an adventurous significant other, spontaneity etc. whatever you could thing of it was written down. but after he broke down the CURET MODEL it made everything else seem so elementary.
CURET...
Communication, Understanding, Respect, Equity, Trust.
if a love relationship does not have this then its not a love relationship.
communication - something we do so seldom but needs to be done. we as human beings are not mind readers. so we need to communicate to one another our needs & wants.
understanding - we need to learn to understand each person's needs and wants. what's communication without understanding, right?
Respect - plain & simple... there needs to be a level of respect for one another. if you respect the other person you won't go & cheat or do crazy shinanagins.
Equity - you are simply 1/2 of a relationship. it takes two baby lol. it takes two EQUAL halves in order to make 1 relationship work. duh? but as simple as that may seem many couples see themselves as better than the other.
Trust - & this one is a given.
but the thing is, its a continuum. so you can't trust someone 100% because if you do than that makes the other person perfect & no human is perfect. life is not a dichotomy & its the same with this. the continuum has to be pretty mutual on both sides.
in class there were the obvious objections on this model. some said they need to have spontaneity. others said they wanted appreciation. but with everything that people brought up our professor said, there can only be 5, so what would you take down from the model in order to place their suggestion. & honestly you can't take one down. everything else comes along with the different couple's needs but CURET is the base of what their relationship must build on. & most things just fall under one or the other categories.
he said its like thread from a sweater.... if you take one out the whole sweater comes undone. what a great analogy. & i've seen this logic put to the test numerous times & it proves to be so right.
& this isn't just simply for a significant other but can apply to your love relationship with your parents, friends etc. i see this lacking with my relationship with my parents & also with their relationship.
hmm... its so touchy, but definitely something to think about. if it was this simply why do some people have a hard time getting it & applying it? is it because they're daunted with the fact that maybe a love relationship requires work? makes me wonder....
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